


Adventures in Babysitting Boyfriends

by CrimesOfADeadpool



Series: "Writer For Hire" -  Marvel Oneshots [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Earth 616, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Comfort, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:40:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3849574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimesOfADeadpool/pseuds/CrimesOfADeadpool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sick superheroes never sleep - even when their overprotective boyfriends want them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adventures in Babysitting Boyfriends

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the beginning of the 'crimesofadeadpool begs his readers for marvel related prompts' series. (More in the End Notes section). 
> 
> Anon asked for:
> 
> 'a spider pool fix where peter get sick and maybe wade takes care if him ? Spidey keeps trying to go out and fight bad guys and wade has to keep bringing him home until he stays' 
> 
> Hope you like it! It came out a bit weird, but I thought it was funny...

“I’m home!” Wade sung cheerfully as he entered his apartment, carrying four shopping bags on each arm. He dropped them in the centre of the kitchen. “Peter!” he called, “get up and help your loving boyfriend put away this shopping that he definitely, totally, legally acquired.”  
Finally Peter made an appearance. “Okay.”  
Wade looked at him in shock and dropped the bag of frozen chips. “Peter?” he squeaked.  
Peter scowled and wrapped his dressing gown around himself tighter. Wade hadn’t even know Peter _owned_ a dressing gown. That thought was quickly pushed away by the thought that Peter looked like absolute _crap._ He was pale and snotty and somehow looked like he’d lost a ton of weight in the past twenty-four hours.  
“I’m fine,” Peter mumbled. “What needs to be put away?”  
Wade shook his head dumbly and closed the distance between them. “Forget the food!” he exclaimed – a sentence he never thought he would utter. “You need a doctor! What happened? Did someone do this to you?”  
Peter tried to give him a condescending look, but failed entirely. “I’m a bit sick.”  
“A bit sick? You look like Death’s a hat drop away. And I would know, having been invited into her house once or twice. Lovely lady.” He shook his head. “No helping for you today.” He picked Peter up, and carried him back into their bedroom.  
Peter made a frustrated noise. “It’s just a bug.”  
Wade dropped him onto the bed. “Hmpph.”  
Peter tried to sit up, but was racked with a fit of coughs. Wade patted his back anxiously.  
“I’m not good with sick people,” he said, worriedly. “What should I do?”  
“Nothing,” Peter replied after he’d stopped coughing. “It’s nothing.”  
Wade pulled a face. “I’m supposed to make chicken soup, I think. But I didn’t know you were sick so… I mean, I could cut up the chicken breast I got and put it in a bowl of boiled water, but somehow I don’t think that’s the same-”  
Peter lay down. “I just need a bit of sleep.”  
Wade nodded. “Okay. I’ll just…go put the shopping away.”  
  
XXX

Wade pulled on his mask.  
After spending the day, wasting away the time till Peter would be better (any attempts to comfort or look after his boyfriend being ignored), he had come to realise that if Petey was bedridden, then _someone_ would need to fill Spider-Man’s (extremely well-fitting) spandex for the night.  
He snuck into the bedroom, needing to retrieve his katanas, and came face-to-face with an equally dressed up Spider-Man.  
“Peter, what are you doing?!”  
“Me? What are you doing?”  
“I asked you first.”  
Peter reluctantly handed over his Avengers communicator, chirping about aliens attacking Central Park.  
“Oh no you don’t.” Wade groaned. He snatched the communicator away from him. “Peter you need sleep. I’ll take care of the flora-loving aliens.”  
“I-”  
“Sleep!”  
  
XXX  
  
“Spider-Man,” Tony called. “Glad you could-” He landed on the building Deadpool was fighting on. “Wade.”  
Wade kicked another alien. “Don’t worry, I’m strictly on a non-fatal mission.”  
“I called Peter.”  
Wade nodded. “He’s sick. I’m graciously filling the gap.”  
“Just get it done,” Tony said, before flying off again.  
  
XXX  
  
“You know, these alien attacks are beginning to blur together,” Steve said as he retrieved his shield.  
Hawkeye shrugged. “This is what, the third attack this month?”  
Black Widow dusted herself off. “Fourth. The attack on Washington.”  
“That was fun,” Tony added.  
Steve looked at Wade. “Thank you for the help,” he said stiffly.  
Wade waved him away. “All in the day of being in a relationship with a superhero.”  
Steve’s jaw tightened, but he nodded.  
“Uh, Wade,” Tony said. “I thought you said Peter was sick.”  
“I did.”  
Tony pointed to an electronics shop behind them. “Then why is he fighting supervillains downtown?”  
Wade turned and swore.  
  
XXX  
  
Peter tripped over a flying car and fell to the ground.  
“Urghh.”  
He shouldn’t have left bed.  
Peter gathered his strength and tried to figure out how many enemies he had left. Three? Five? His head spun.  
He pushed himself off the ground.  
“Hey, I thought we said no car throwing!”  
“Your juvenile jokes are hardly going to help you now,” the ringleader declared.  
Spidey rolled his eyes. “Where have I heard that one before?” He pretended to clear his throat, in an attempt to hold back another coughing fit. “So how do you wanna do this? One at a time, or all of you at once?”  
“Ridiculous,” said one of the villians. “Here we are, stuck with the D-lister superhero. Shouldn’t you be helping with the alien invasion?” She shot some type of energy beams toward him, which Spider-Man easily dodged.  
“Hey, I’m at least a B-lister!”  
“Actually, I’d say you were a C-lister at best,” came a familiar voice behind him.  
He turned to face the Iron Man suit. “Rude.”  
“The truth hurts kid. Now step outta the way so us A-listers can take care of these guys.”  
Peter gratefully stepped out of the way, swinging to a nearby rooftop.  
“Peter Benjamin Parker,” came a voice from the same rooftop.  
Peter’s flushed.  
“I thought I told you to stay in bed.” Wade said as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend.  
“I saw the looting on the tv and figured-”  
“Hmph.”  
Peter pulled a face under his mask. “I told you I’m fine.”  
“Oh, should we get a professionals opinion on that? We could swing by Dr Pym’s. Or McCoy’s. See what they have to say about it.”  
Peter groaned. “Let’s just go home.”  
“Good boy.”  
  
XXX  
  
“Help!” The scream came from a few blocks over.  
The lovers were halfway home when they heard it.  
Wade gave Peter a warning look.  
“Duty calls,” Peter chimed weakly, and swung towards the sound.  
“Dammit!” Wade said, and chased after him.  
  
XXX

Wade knocked out two men while Peter webbed up the last three.  
“That’s it!” Wade declared, and picked Peter up, slinging him over his shoulder. “Home!”  
Peter squirmed. “Wade!”  
Wade switched him to bridal style carrying. “Shh Spidey. This world’s too dangerous for a sick sexy spider like you.”  
  
XXX  
  
Peter groaned as Wade dropped him back in the bed.  
Wade stepped away, and pointed at the bed. “Stay!”  
“I’m not a child,” Peter complained as he pulled off his mask.  
“Three times! Three times I told you to stay here.”  
Peter rolled his eyes and pulled the covers over himself. “Fine.”  
Wade paused. “Really?”  
“Yeah, yeah, I’m done for the night.”  
Wade smiled and snuck into the bed next to him. “Good boy.” He kissed his ear.  
Peter grumbled something back unintelligibly.  
Wade wrapped his arms around him and hummed. “Sleep now Peter.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Peter replied before falling asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> So yes, as I mentioned at the start, I'm starting a new series of fanfics and though it's probably not going to be called 'crimesofadeadpool begs his readers for marvel related prompts', the concept is basically that. 
> 
> I've been really bad at writing recently, and am hoping if you guys send me prompts that'll kick me into gear. By a prompt, I mean anything from just a ship to a full fledged setting/au/ plot sort thing.  
> The only limit really is that it has to be a marvel prompt. This includes gay and straight ships, or prompts that have no ships at all. I've seen all the MCU, Spider-Man and X-Men movies, and read literally hundreds of Marvel comics - from Mighty Avengers to Cable and the X-Force to All New X-Factor to Wolverine and the X-Men. Plus, obviously, Deadpool, Daredevil, and a bunch of other single character series. Seriously, if there's a ship that you want me to write, you know, even a vague, comic only one, send me a message, cos it's very possible I've heard of the characters. In fact, I'd love to try some of the lesser known, comic only, ships. 
> 
> Anyway, this is also on my tumblr too [ here ](http://crimesofadeadpool.tumblr.com/post/117766674854/send-me-marvel-prompts-ships-please), so you can either message me there or, I suppose, in the comments here, and I'll try my best to fulfill it.


End file.
